When
I was preparing myself for this amazing adventure... I (like most
other volunteers I would imagine) spent a lot of time being
overwhelmed and stressed out. I made a few mistakes (for example I
probably should have stopped working a few weeks sooner) which caused
me to rush through a lot of my goodbyes.. it was a huge whirl wind.
While obviously spending time with loved ones before you leave
(especially those that you will not see again for 2 years) is what
everyone should be doing.. and of course packing is important too.. I
would advise making sure that you have enough time to really enjoy
those last couple weeks. I know for me I spent way to much time
wrapping up projects I had been working on for months.. and stressing
over everything (imagine that). Packing is important.. but honestly
anything you REALLY need to survive you can find in your country of
service.. people do live there.. if they didn't you wouldn't be
going.. anything special that you pack is really just a perk. I know
that when I was packing I filled a good portion of my luggage with
snacks from home (at the advice of a few different former volunteers)
it felt like a silly waste of space.. but I assure you it wasn't.
That
being said.. if I had the ability to do the last few weeks over
again.. I would try not to stress so much.. maybe by 2014 I will have
learned that one. I am starting to think however that my general
stress level is deeply engrained and probably not going anywhere
anytime soon.. I was stressed out as a baby and I will probably
continue to be so for the rest of my life. I accept that.
So
everyone is probably thinking right now.. ok Zoe.. as of this week
you have officially been in Benin for 3 full months... why are you
talking about this now?
Well..
my dear friend. Now that I am living in this little house of mine..
For the first time since I got here.. now that everything is unpacked
and put in its place.. I have an opinion on what I should have been
preparing for.. and what was superfluous. Here are some thoughts:
Things
That I'm Glad I Did Before I Left
Spending
Time With People: I spent a lot of time getting to see people..
even people who I hadn't seen in awhile. It is crazy really when
someone knows that they won't be ABLE to see you they get the urge
that they HAVE to see you... and it was really nice to get to talk
with friends who I had been missing to no fault of either of us.
However, this wasn't something I had anticipated and I think that
some people who I did see all the time normally might have felt a bit
neglected. I am sorry for this... This is probably the main reason
why I feel that I might not have given myself enough open time before
leaving.. the hustle and bustle of preparing for service is a crazy
thing. I remember one day during the weeks before I left... some friends wanted to see
Erik and I... people who I like a lot but who we rarely saw.. right
before we were about to go out I got very upset.. I didn't want to
go.. I was tired of talking about the Peace Corps with everyone and
their mother.. I just wanted a NORMAL day with our NORMAL friends.
Leave yourself some days where things can feel normal. [In case I offended anyone with this.. I'm very sorry.. if you are close enough with me to feel offended than i'm pretty positive I'm not talking about you. AND I love everyone very much it was just an overwhelming time in my life]
Getting
Away: I know this probably sounds contrary to what I just said..
but another thing that we did before I left.. was Erik and I went on
a small vacation. I know, far from a normal everyday thing. But it
gave us a few days.. away from everything and we got to do things we
like to do; go canoeing, see sites, go for nature walks etc. It was
really nice. It was really good for me.. but I imagine even better
for him.. to get me away from the constant packing and errand
running. We weren't home.. so I couldn't worry about it. It would
have to wait.
Let
Them Throw You A Party: I struggled with this one. I wanted a
going away party – who wouldn't. At the same time.. having a party
thrown in my honor makes me really uncomfortable.. and I definitely
vacillated about the importance of it. It seemed really silly BUT It
was wonderful.. I am really glad that we did it.. and I am so
grateful to all of my family and friends for making it such an
amazing day. I think we timed it perfectly too. Not so last minute
that I couldn't enjoy myself.. but close enough to my departure that
people realized that I wasn't going to be having anymore free time
before I left. I also got to see a lot of people who I may not have
gotten a chance to see other wise. (Thank You Again Joanne and Richie
for hosting this for me.. and Everyone Else who helped out that day –
miss you all!)
Things
That Were Important – But Mismanaged
Bike
Classes: Yes.. I know I am not great on a bicycle.. and this was
very important for my confidence. However, I don't like riding
bikes.. I never have.. I still don't. If the bike classes were to
really be worthwhile then I should have allotted more time to riding
bikes before I came here. I realize now that the issue was never
that I couldn't ride a bike.. that part wasn't hard to get past. The
issue is I don't want to ride a bike. As of now I walk everywhere..
and I look very silly doing it.. eventually when I know the
neighborhood better I'll ride my bike.. I just really hate it.
LeatherMan:
If you are going into the peace corps.. get a multi-tool leatherman
type of thing. Really really really important. Also Important however
is maybe knowing what tools you have before you leave the country..
and practicing using it for everyday things like cutting fruit for
instance. It is important to become familiar with it. For example
during training one of my friends had broken her glasses (not very
bad just needed a glasses screwdriver).. after a few days she sent
them to medical to have them fixed (which meant they would be gone
for about a week).. the next day I realized I HAD THE TOOL SHE NEEDED
IN MY BAG ALL ALONG!!
Running
Errands: I am normally
one of the most organized people when it comes to running errands. I
know what I need, where to find it, and I go out and get it, I map
out my destinations and set a schedule so that the errands can be
over and done with. (So organized some people actually mistake it as
enjoyment.. but no I like errands just as much as the next guy I
promise). During the few weeks before I left.. I was having a lot of
trouble making a comprehensive list. Mostly due to the fact that I
really didn't know what I needed. There were many suggested packing
lists available to me but what did I NEED? What was important to ME?
Also.. I wanted people to run errands with me (which is definitely
less efficient).. which I'm sure wasn't enjoyable to them.. but I was
trying to multitask. I'm not sure if it is even possible when
preparing for the Peace Corps... but I wish I had been able to set it
all aside.. and sit down make a list go get what I needed and then
been done with it (like normal Zoe mode).. I think a lot of potential
down time was wasted running out to stores or waiting for someone to
go with me so I could spend time with them.. or sometimes even going
to the same store more than once eek!
Things
I Didn't Do
Practical
Cooking: Everyone who knows me.. knows that I love to be in the
Kitchen - cooking... baking.. dancing.. thinking.. who knows. Before
I left I went on a spree. I decided that I wanted to cook things I
wouldn't be able to cook here.. I was pulling out all the stops. All
the recipes I had been saving to try for special occasions. If I
wasn't going to be in a proper kitchen for two years I wanted to get
it all in while I could. IN REALITY I should have been practicing
minimalist cooking.. using ingredients that I could find easily in
Benin (to the best of my knowledge at the time)... so that I would be
prepared to make a variety of dishes when I got here. I am slowly
building up my repertoire of non-fancy peace corps style dining. But
it is VERY BORING. I should have spent the time to compile easy and a
varied recipes for here before I left.. I will have the rest of my
life to cook fancy. (and for some reason every time I think of a recipe from home that i could probably make here I find out it needs celery!! i never realized i cooked with so much celery! i love celery.) :-/
Pretend
To Be a Boyscout: I
should have spent time practicing some basic knots.. I did bring a
book on Knots but I didn't practice any. As of right now my clothes
line is rigged up with mini-bungycords (which were a great idea to
pack) but it doesn't look very pretty. I should have practiced
setting up a propane stove.. because even though they gave us a brief
demonstration.. it wasn't quite as easy as I had imagined. What do
you do with your trash when there is no trash system.. not everything
is burnable? I should have practiced my tree-ids.. not really
important for anything but my own peace of mind: its something I am
good at at home.. why not here as well? I should have practiced using
machetes to open coconuts and dig in the yard. Maybe I should have
done some pushups.
If
anyone who doesn't know me (and is preparing for service in Benin
(invitations start going out in a couple months!!) or another PC
country) is reading this I just want to add some other thoughts.. I
spent a lot of time stressing about language before arriving.. I wish
I could speak better French.. but they get you through it. YOU DO A
LOT OF LANGUAGE TRAINING.. practice your language.. but don't let it
eat up your life before you go to stage. Bring a hoodie.. even if you
are going someplace warm.. you will want it eventually. Ask people at
home to write you letters.. or maybe even send yourself a care
package before you leave (a lot of people did this).. it is hard to
explain how excited everyone is during training on days when mail
shows up.. it is like Christmas (or your comparative holiday) just to
have something from home to hold... Even if you think you don't need
letters from home.. once you are here and everyone else is getting
them.. you will want them.. make sure your friends have your new
address (I am very glad that I did!). Du Courage!
Z
